Emo-ing

I'm like cheerful person without tears, this is what I used to think, and the CHARACTER I used to be. But, i cried non-stop since yesterday. Why? I personally can't give the answer. I never be like this, I am always the clown or someone so called "happy nut"... But then, I CRIED?? CRYING is not my habit even when facing problems or challenges..
Why? pressure? stress? I don't think so.. I've already given up doing my revision since XXX, I can't even remember when. I am just going to school like usual and listen to the teachers（some)..
Tears drop from my eyes, without reasons, without reasons......
Who can save me? Whoever...
I can't stop EMO-ING?? weird.. two-faced? cheerful one in front of public and emo when i am alone?
i cant express what kind of feeling is it..
Sharing with friends? no way, i am not used to be the one who shares all the sadness or problems to others..
even if, i want to try to share..
why am i sad? why? wad are the reasons? i don't know..
depression? LOL.. nonsense

累

其实，最近很累
平时嘻嘻哈哈的笑着
别人以为我没怎么样
其实
我真的真的很累

虽然我还是每天和朋友们闹着
但是不知到什么缘故
我真的有莫名的空虚
到底是什么？
我不晓得
我应该继续追问自己吗？
还是就让它这样呢？

眼泪，最近也莫名的多了很多
一下子 眼泪就滑下来
以前的我不是这样的啊
还是。。。
我变了？
变成一个我自己也不了解的那个陌生人？

我究竟要些什么？
我不知道
我想追求的是什么？
我不知道

最近
头也很痛 也一直反胃
我自认我每天都吃得很多
但是 为什胃酸还是那么高？
ZZZZZZ

很辛苦 很辛苦