In the beginning of 2012

People are posting and wishing it would be a great year. Me either.

I hope that I have a great start in this year with my study.

However, things happened without any signs. unexpected happened when we think that we are blissful.

We blamed, we complaint, we shouted, we cried.. but we forgot to pray.
I always think that, yea, it is just a small matter, i can handle it myself without God.
But what's next? I relied too much on my own, and when things come, I fell, I cried, and I shouted to God for reasons.

there is only a reason, I am too ego to live my own way, and God was not in my life.
I abandoned His words. and refused to listen the sound deeply in my heart.

look back, there are so many chances that i could have grabbed and moved back to the right track.
But i refused to do so. and keep the old nasty bad me.
And this, made today's me.
What's worse can be happening?

But then, I have promised myself, not to blame, not to complain. everything i met has a good will behind.
I have no fear, to move on. As there is always a hand guiding me in front.
I always believe that, man's extremity is God's opportunity.
Lean on God, make my choice, and move on.
What's next? MOVING ON with the guiding hand.

A great grace and promise from God, as He said, ‎"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

This verse strengthens me. And not looking backwards, but forwards. Fear not, for He is with me; for He is my God. He will strengthen me, yes, He will help me, He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.
And this will never ever fail. :))

And late posting my TO-DO-LIST in 2012 year.

1. not to blame, not to complain, and wait for His good wills.
2. be a happy fellow who dips in inner peace always.
3. study well, achieve a better grades as my ability can make it
4. serve more, no complains, no delay.
5. give more time to God: study His words.
6. WWJD, think of what Jesus will do before doing one thing.

*I guess, items will be added as days come.*

Great night, great immersion.
Great verse, great promise.
Great end, great start.

:))

No title (2)

What if dreams are meant to come true?

What if hearts are meant to be broken?

What if rules are meant to be broken?

What if I am no longer myself?

What if I am not who I suppose to be?

What if I am not as happy as you always see?

What if I am not as tough as I have done pretending?

What if I am crying when I am laughing out loud?

What if I am crazy as I can't make a right decision?

What if everything is just an "if" in my life?

Dreams are not meant to come true.

Hearts are not meant to be broken

Rules are set to follow.

You are always who you suppose to be.

When you are not happy, I am always hang on, and find a way to make u happy once again.

When you are crying, please remember there is a tissue box beside your table.

Don't go crazy, as you have been crazy enough all the time.

Everything is not fixed, unless you work on it.

Cheer, GT cheers.

Everything is going to be alright.

Everything is going to be just fine.

:'( TEACH ME HOW. PLEASE.

喜新厌旧

你总爱说我喜新厌旧

我知道,这是铁一般的事实..

有时候，总羡慕着“爱情长跑”的情侣们

他们的包容，忍耐，也总为着对方着想的那种心态

而我，总是做不到..

我不要求完美

我不要求你完全奉献

我只想你给我一些些的空间

不要什么事情都必需在你掌控之中..

而我就像是你的傀儡, 要你一手一脚的安排我的生活..

也许你真的比我成熟, 有时候也比我想得远..

但是，我想经历的也是你曾经跌倒过，再爬起来的定点。。

我不要求跌得重.. 至少你让我有选择的余地

一步一步的慢慢走.. 至少，错了也是我的决定..

而你也不要总是说, 我是为了你好；我是过来人之类的讲法..

我真的感激你.. 但是，我真的想要自己试试看..

大不了，就从新开始..

你到底明白我在说什么，想什么吗?

我只觉得, 我们一开始就不在同一个起跑点上..

你跑的快，代表着我也必须跟上你繁忙的脚步..

只为了跟你并肩同行?

为什么只有我一直在追, 你不为了我停留？

这到底是什么？

我真的不知道..

那些年～～

又回到最初的起點 記憶中妳青澀的臉 我們終於來到了這一天 桌墊下的老照片 無數回憶連結 今天男孩要赴女孩最後的約

又回到最初的起點 呆呆地站在鏡子前 笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結 將頭髮梳成大人模樣 穿上一身帥氣西裝 等會兒見妳一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的時光 回到教室座位前後　故意討妳溫柔的罵 黑板上排列組合　妳捨得解開嗎 誰與誰坐他又愛著她

那些年錯過的大雨 那些年錯過的愛情 好想擁抱妳　擁抱錯過的勇氣 曾經想征服全世界 到最後回首才發現 這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

那些年錯過的大雨 那些年錯過的愛情

 好想告訴妳　告訴妳我沒有忘記 那天晚上滿天星星 平行時空下的約定 再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳 緊緊抱著妳

看著你們互post的留言，聽著這首歌.. 眼淚又情不自禁地往下滑落..

距離不是問題，在乎兩個人願不願意經營..

我相信這句話.. 但是你呢?

"世上最遠的距離不是生離死別, 而是我愛你,你卻不知道.."

我想你，是真的..

那你說的呢?

你問我為什麼不願意相信你..

請問，我還有這個勇氣嗎?

我, 原以為我已經完全放下了..

但是原來,我沒有..

這個答案, 你滿意嗎?

請讓我再一次變成冰塊..

在烈日當頭我可以悄悄融化

在寒冷的夜裡我可以隱藏自己

我的傷心失望也悄悄的離我遠去

Motivation

It has been a while I did not spend so much time on this thing.

And, it seems hate me. :X hahaha

When I always feel suffocating, I think of you.

You're always the one who can make me laugh when I am down.

You're always the one who accompanies me when I am bored.

Ya, YOU YOU YOU. <3

I really DON'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL.

Please, save me out of here.

21 days left to the real war. GOSH! :(((((((

Part of my life (I)

In this silent night, I have learnt something.

It is uneasy to handle one thing- Friendship.

When you have trusted so much on ones, he/she might make stories on you.

Only one-week-friend though.

Perhaps, I am just not so good.

Perhaps, he is just a jerk.

Or, I am just way too stupid and the one who can be fooled around?

HA HA HA..

And I have made another decision too.

And, ya.. I really miss you guys, E ren.

Xinqian :'( I really feel very helpless now. Why ah.. Hahahahahaha..

Dear God,

I know I have made a stupid mistake again. And you knew I would do it. And I know it will not bring me a good ending. I insisted. So, this is what I got. (: So yea, Please let me rest in your arms for a night. And tomorrow I will be a new me. Because bible tells me so: (Exodus 15:26)

He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."

Dear God, you love such a sinful me. I should be thankful. (: God, please give me one more chance.

Thanks for listening to my lil prayer. I give my pray in the name of Jesus, Amen.

无题

还记得，“无题”是我真的十分非常emo的时候会用的题目。

因为，它真的是无题。

没有任何重要的东西，内容。

只是想找一个空间好好发泄。

看起来每天都很开心的我，

我，真的开心吗？

我，真的快乐吗？

当初做的决定，想在人生中，找充实来忘记不开心的回忆。

现在，我的生活充实的不像话。

我真的不知道我到底要的是什么。

每天忙忙碌碌的念书，

还是，每天吃饱摇脚？

我已经看不清楚我前面的路。

我看不见我所要去的地方。

常常对自己说，

对自己的决定负责任。

因为，路是我选的。

有人苦口婆心的劝告，

我都抛在脑后。

现在，自食恶果，活该！

我很笨，我懒惰，我堕落

我很笨，我懒惰，我堕落

还有一个月就final

而我，什么都不会。

我真的不知道，怎么办！救我！

It is a weird feeling.

I keep waiting for someone.

And someone keep waiting for me? HAHAHAHA..

Yet so near, yet so far.

Was far, was near, and is going to be far again.

Hmmm, what's going on? ):

Speechless

I can’t belive what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless
I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless
I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

Hooow?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?

Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?

And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promise to you boy

That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along

I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless so speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose “death and company”
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh




Please pray for my dad and I.

有时候人不要太聪明

人类，是一种非常特别的创造物
他们拥有其他物体都没有的样子，四肢，头脑



人脑的构造也非常复杂
人一辈子都无法应用整个头脑
好事来的。。。真的




当你知道，你的脑知道了一些不该知道的事情
是时候装傻了
不要太聪明，想要去看穿着整件事
它，很伤人的




当你知道事实的真相，
却要压抑自己的情绪，
嬉皮笑脸的面对它，
这更难。。。




那为什么我就要去拆穿着整件事？
有什么益处吗？
是不是单纯点，不想不看不听？
这样他好你好我也好，对吗？





希望时间冲淡一切。。。

一切并没有我想象中美好

时间，一点一滴的过去了
不曾为你停留的脚步，渐渐开始后悔了
心不再像以前一般火热
那久违的你，还记得当初我们开心的时光吗？
一切并没有我想象中美好

阳光，被雨天交替了
我也开始放慢了脚步，希望你追赶上来
雨滴不留情的，打乱我思绪
嘲笑着我说， “傻瓜，别再等了。”
心情，像喝醉了一样，疯疯癫癫。。。
一切并没有我想象中美好

没有你的日子，我过得很好
但是，没有你的日子，
好像，总缺少些什么
一切并没有我想象中美好

听着朋友近来的故事，
我庆幸着我有你。。。
那你呢？
一切并没有我想象中美好

你说，“别傻了，你值得更好的。”
但我说，“那你呢？”
一切并没有我想象中美好

因为我会想起你，我害怕面对自己
我的意志总被寂寞吞噬
因为你总会提醒，
过去总不会过去，有种真爱不是我的
一切并没有我想象中美好

假如我不曾爱你，
我不会失去自己，
想念的刺，钉住我的位置
因为你总会提醒，
就算我赢得这世界，
有种幸福不是我的
一切并没有我想象中美好

我忍！！！

不知道是月经来袭，所以心情老是闷闷的
还是，我已经忍无可忍？

今天已经不是第一次了
我忍你无数次，不代表你就可以hurt我 xD

一句，“是你自己不够努力”，就像一巴掌
毫不留情地，打了下去

在你说这句话以前，你又如何？
在你每次批评我时，你有没有想过自己有多好？
我知道，我样样不如人。。。
但是，你有必要这样吗？

还是，我每天嬉皮笑脸的，让你觉得你说什么我都无所谓？
还是，我太过敏感了？你根本就没有这个意思？



嗨~~~也对，自己就是没有很好，所以才有借口让别人“讲”。。。
只能够说，我要多些严肃？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈（疯了！！）
俗语所的好，要人家佩服你，你就要让人觉得你真的很好。。。

*路边一棵榕树下*

加油吧~~~

如果没有你

Hey～我真的好想你
现在窗外面 又开始下着雨
眼睛干干的 有想哭的心情
不知道你现在到底在哪里

Hey～我真的好想你
太多的情绪 没适当的表情
最想说的话 我该从何说起你是否也像我一样在想你

如果没有你 没有过去
我不会有伤心
但是有如果 还是要爱你

如果没有你 我在哪里
又有什么可惜
反正一切来不及
反正没了自己
Hey～我真的好想你
不知道你现在到底在哪里

你是否也像我一样在想你

Too late?

When I have realized that I missed out something, is it too late to say sorry?
When I have realized that I can never entering your world, is it too late to say sorry?
When I have realized that you are no longer belonged to me, is it too late to propose?
When I have realized that I could not understand, is it too late for us?
When I have realized that we are separated into two worlds, is it too late to figure out?
When I have realized that everything does not go right, is it too late?
When I have realized that nothing is worth to, is it right?





Things changed in a sudden.
Tell me, what should I do?
Shall I go for it?
Or, ...
Doing nothing?



Walking to the left, turning to the right...
Which road is the correct one?



Stepping on the same ground, listening to the wind.
Nothing is done without God.



Nothing can be done without GOD.

为何？

为何心情纳闷
为何心情低落
为何感觉无奈
为何眼泪不落下
为何不想溶入
为何不想表达
为何没有情绪
为何沉默寡言
为何不笑
为何不哭
为何我不知
为何我不想睡?

太傻

有时候，觉得可以依靠的人真的很了解自己
有时候，觉得他真的很在乎自己
有时候，甚至不用开口他已知道
可是，有时候他有意的背叛了你

我不知道我可以忍多久
希望你不要越来越过分
最多，一拍两散罢了
不要让我做出这样的举动
而且，也不要把我当成是傻瓜
我不出声，不代表我不觉得怎样
你爱怎样就怎样
不要把你自己的想法套在我身上
我真的很讨厌！！！

恨 恨 恨！！！


:@

遗失的自我

消失了，不见了
漂浮的，虚拟的
无臭无味，无影无形

不见啦！！~

请允许我

请允许我尖叫
请允许我哭泣
请允许我难过
请允许我伤心
请允许我快乐
请允许眼泪落下
请允许我无奈
请允许我假装
请允许我坚强
请允许我懦弱
请允许我无知
请允许我说谎
请允许我诚实

过分

有时候，过分的撒娇换来的只是无奈
有时候，过分的关怀换来的只是冷漠
有时候，过分的依赖换来的只是逃避
有时候，过分的过分换来的只是自讨没趣
有时候，过分的想念换来的只是可笑

有时候，过分的过分只是过分的过分
过分的过分，只是虚空的虚空


半夜的无聊，陪着我可爱的书本，无聊的写出无聊

What If?

What if, I can't make it?

What if, the colour has faded?

What if, you can't?

What if, it is impossile?

What if? What if?